Is a way of really seeing HER.
An old friend before he passed away said to us, “I’ve been married to my wife for over 60 years and I am still learning new things about her everyday!”
This struck me significant because sometimes we feel we do know our other half SOOOO well! But there is so much in a person, and people change all the time, so how does one continue to learn about his wife. I am speaking in the point of view of getting to know a wife because I am a wife 🙂
The other day as I was preparing dinner I was pondering upon the expression “when you are in your element”, when we are in comfortable surroundings we are truly ourselves.
If a woman’s element is cooking, watch her. She will glide from the stove to the sink to the table, to the children, back to the stove and then the counter next to it. In and out of the cooler and the cupboards. She will dice and chop and sprinkle and dash a bit of this and that and serve a delicious meal. Stop. Take a step back and watch slowly. See the knife? A woman in her element is thinking about that knife and has a story to share. See the combination of seasonings with onion? Her eyes are not looking at the same pan as you are, her mind is somewhere else, because she learned to cook that meal in another country and her thoughts are running there to visit but will be back by the time you sit at the table to eat.
If her element is reading a book, watch her face. What situations stir her emotions? Do you read the same thing and think, “why is she crying about that?” At what parts of the story does she put the book down and ponder about what she has read? These are the things in her heart. Engage with sensitivity if you truly want to know. A scorned heart bleeds a long time.
If her element is photography, you will see the world through her eyes. Is her world dark and hazy? Why? Or is it colourful and bright. Why? Through her photographs one can find her hopes, her reflection, and things that move her heart. A laughing baby. She loves her children. She longs for children. A heart-shaped cloud. She values freedom and love. I knew a girl who included the same book in each photograph she took. That book had been given to her by her father who later left the family. It represents the importance of having him be a part of her life.
Each woman has an element, a place or hobby where she subconsciously reveals herself. You will get to know more than the heart she wears on her sleeve, but the one underneath the skin that she guards because of its fragility. This is the place where truth gets told.
Have you ever walked in a woman doing dishes, staring out the window with tears in her eyes? Â She insists she’s fine. Just thinking. The running water noisy like a waterfall, drowning the screams in her head. Her hands constantly washing away her sorrows down the sink. The water cleaning the dishes while her tears are cleaning her soul.
Getting to know a woman is more than just watching and talking to her, it is being truly engaged in her life.
x
My Velvet Notebook 