Love and Marriage- Ten Things

Screen Shot 2013-02-14 at 10.11.53

Let’s be truthful.

Sometimes life just isn’t what we anticipated it to be.

The last five years of my life has been full of roller coaster emotions, life throwing its occasional mud ball in my face, but at the end of every day, no matter what happened that day, I am still sitting next to the same person.

If there is one thing I have learned in my five years of marriage, it is that we are in this TOGETHER. The TWO of us.

We HAVE to talk, ignoring each other when we’re mad gets us no where. And a conversation needs TWO people.

I am very lucky my husband is up for anything fun! Love him!

I am getting personal in this post today because I always believe, I can’t be the only one who needs this!

Here are Ten Things we have done -and continue to do- to keep marriage fun!

1. Say 3 nice things.

Real things. I wouldn’t let him say “you’re beautiful.” I want specifics. Long drawn out paragraphs of admiration are great! ๐Ÿ˜‰

I confess and apologise I have no reference for this but I remember many years ago I saw a couple on TV who said they did this very thing. Every morning they started their day saying 3 nice things they liked about each other. Noted.

He takes his turn and I take mine. Who can resist nice things being said about them to them from the one person they love most!

2. Romantic gestures.

My husband surprised me one day with flowers! I really love this old tradition of giving flowers! Broke? Draw some! She’ll treasure it forever!

I appreciate the random love messages on the bathroom mirror. The lit candles at dinner. A letter posted to me- I love mail!

Just like when dating before marriage, these small acts score big.

Screen Shot 2013-02-14 at 09.59.21

3. Date night.

With young children we have spent many date nights at home but it is something we always look forward to.

To be honest, friction does not cancel date night. If you don’t feel like talking to each other you can still play cards! Or other games ๐Ÿ™‚

My favourite nights are the ones where we do interviews or play 2 truths/1 lie. There is so much we still learn about each other!

4. Traditions.

I’ve heard some couples/families make a yearly playlist of their favourite songs from that year.

Or go to the same place each year and take a couple/family photograph.

Whatever it is, making and keeping traditions is special.

5. Writing journals.

It is very funny when we document vacations/date nights/road trips and compare how we both experienced it differently! Re-reading them together makes for a fun night reminiscing.

Screen Shot 2013-02-14 at 10.03.14

6. Smell good.

I really don’t have to elaborate on this do I?

I swoon when my husband wears cologne, especially the one he wore when we were dating. Ahhh!

7. Have pictures taken together.

I love looking at all the photos we have as a couple. Kissing ones. Laughing ones. Posed or candid. Photobooth! I personally think it’s important to have pictures as a couple. Memories, reminders and just a sweet keepsake.

8. A kiss before work.

I read an article where a study showed that men performed better at work when their wife kissed them before they left home! Sorry I don’t have the reference!

Screen Shot 2013-02-14 at 09.54.26

9. Celebrating those Hallmark holidays.

It is not my intention to offend anyone here! I have heard many sides and different opinions but at the end of the day, doing something makes everyone happy!

I came up with a brilliant idea for those who tend to forget: plan ahead, buy a shoe box full of different cards and small gifts, and each year you save a trip to the store, just write your message and give it to your love! hahaha

10. The notebook.

This lovely article from a blog I randomly found, gave us this fun idea!

Have a small notebook, write a message in it, put it somewhere you know your spouse will see it and take turns writing messages to each other. It’s fun finding it in strange places and sweet when it is so unexpected!

If someone were to have shown me what life would be like before I married my groom, I know I would have just held him closer and said- let’s stick together no matter what!

A lovely quote I found somewhere:

"We are the perfect couple. We are just in imperfect situations."

Happy Valentine’s Day!

xx

Title photo by LeoPhotography

2. photo credit

5. photo credit

8. photo credit

Advertisements

A Woman In Her Element

Screen Shot 2013-02-01 at 13.43.16

Is a way of really seeing HER.

An old friend before he passed away said to us, “I’ve been married to my wife for over 60 years and I am still learning new things about her everyday!”

This struck me significant because sometimes we feel we do know our other half SOOOO well! But there is so much in a person, and people change all the time, so how does one continue to learn about his wife. I am speaking in the point of view of getting to know a wife because I am a wife ๐Ÿ™‚

The other day as I was preparing dinner I was pondering upon the expression “when you are in your element”, when we are in comfortable surroundings we are truly ourselves.

If a woman’s element is cooking, watch her. She will glide from the stove to the sink to the table, to the children, back to the stove and then the counter next to it. In and out of the cooler and the cupboards. She will dice and chop and sprinkle and dash a bit of this and that and serve a delicious meal. Stop. Take a step back and watch slowly. See the knife? A woman in her element is thinking about that knife and has a story to share. See the combination of seasonings with onion? Her eyes are not looking at the same pan as you are, her mind is somewhere else, because she learned to cook that meal in another country and her thoughts are running there to visit but will be back by the time you sit at the table to eat.

If her element is reading a book, watch her face. What situations stir her emotions? Do you read the same thing and think, “why is she crying about that?” At what parts of the story does she put the book down and ponder about what she has read? These are the things in her heart. Engage with sensitivity if you truly want to know. A scorned heart bleeds a long time.

If her element is photography, you will see the world through her eyes. Is her world dark and hazy? Why? Or is it colourful and bright. Why? Through her photographs one can find her hopes, her reflection, and things that move her heart. A laughing baby. She loves her children. She longs for children. A heart-shaped cloud. She values freedom and love. I knew a girl who included the same book in each photograph she took. That book had been given to her by her father who later left the family. It represents the importance of having him be a part of her life.

Each woman has an element, a place or hobby where she subconsciously reveals herself. You will get to know more than the heart she wears on her sleeve, but the one underneath the skin that she guards because of its fragility. This is the place where truth gets told.

Have you ever walked in a woman doing dishes, staring out the window with tears in her eyes? ย She insists she’s fine. Just thinking. The running water noisy like a waterfall, drowning the screams in her head. Her hands constantly washing away her sorrows down the sink. The water cleaning the dishes while her tears are cleaning her soul.

Getting to know a woman is more than just watching and talking to her, it is being truly engaged in her life.

x

(photo credit)

Remembering You Then, Seeing You Now

As newlyweds!

Marriage can sometimes cloud the mind and make you forget what led you there.

We get caught up in the monotony of everyday housework, routines, to do lists, whining children and lack of sleep.

To keep dreaming, laughing, flirting, and having new adventures takes more effort.

The love songs we once listened to gets replaced with nursery songs and children’s DVD’s.

Even attempting a conversation can often be constantly interrupted by a crying child.

Our quiet evenings alone are now rushed to squeeze in a few hours of sleep before the baby wakes up again.

I know I take you for granted. I know you will always come home. I know how big your heart is.

Year after year life throws us challenges to see if we continue to stand side by side. We are both still here.

ย When I look at you, I remember when we first met. That boy you once were. And I love the man you’ve turned out to be.

There are moments where I catch you looking at me, and I think you remember me as a young girl too.

When we longed for the perfect love and knew that when we found it, we’d hold on forever.

We were both there, as friends just dancing together, talking, laughing, and had no clue it was going to be us eight years later.

And here we are. With two beautiful sons and a love story.

The qualities I fell in love with hasn’t changed.

I still the love the green in your eyes.

I still love that you eat whatever I make you for dinner.

I still love that you try to make me laugh.

I still love listening to you play the guitar.

I still love it when you hold my hand.

There is so much about marriage no one told us about.

I imagine that when we got married, other married couples looked at us and said, “They’ll figure it out. We did.”

Yeah we do, one crazy day at a time we do.

I’m just glad it was you all along. The man I was meant to be with. No one else could have shared this journey with me.

I love you. x

The Competition Between Husband and Wife

(tired) I’ve been working all day.

(rolling eyes) If you were single and on your own, you’d still be working all day.

(annoyed) I’m tired.

(giving the “I dare you to take this further” look) I’m exhausted.

(glaring) I work long days.

(glaring back with a raised eyebrow) My days have no end or beginning.

(defensive) I don’t get much sleep around here and still have to work all day. No breaks.

(sarcastic) Sleep? What’s that?…. (whispering loudly) I’m lucky to get 2 straight hours of sleep!

(explaining tone) My work is physical and my body feels destroyed. I’m in a lot of pain.

(matter of fact tone) Try a round of pregnancy, a day in labour and at least 6 months of breastfeeding, times TWO! My body feels beyond repair! Pain is my constant companion.

(despairingly) Everything went wrong at work today! It’s so stressful.

(in a zone tone) I don’t remember when I last peed, I should go now that you’re home…..I’ve hardly had a chance to eat, I’m hungry. There’s been spills, poop dramas, tantrums and timeouts, all of us crying for different reasons, and everyone goes to mom for comfort or to complain. What about me?

(sighing, defeated) Sounds like we need a big family hug….. By the way, what’s for dinner?

(exasperated) Oh the added guilt of the less-than-perfect housewife, I have no dinner prepared! You want dinner? Me too! And a shower please.

Then there is silence. The kind of quiet that couples understand after being together for a very long time. It’s not awkward, it’s not tense, it is just there. The argument isn’t really an argument, just how-was-your-day chatter. We then look at each other with tired half smiles and eyes that say ‘I love you’.

Ok, I’ll order a pizza.

And pepsi please. Thank you babe….. Hey, who won tonight’s competition?

You sweetheart, always you.

(smiling) I love you!

I’m Dancing With You

(photo credit)

I started off dancing alone. And that was okay. Until I danced with you.

Now I know I need a partner. To hold me steady. To hold me up. And to just hold me.

You are the music that make my feet move.ย 

You remind me I have the strength to finish.

You are the only applause I hear.

This life would be without song if you weren’t here with me.

In your arms is where I belong, always.

(photo credit)

The Wonder of Being a Wife

Sometimes I feel insignificant, unseen and small in the world. But then I think, hold on, forget what the world makes me feel, I am a wife! And in my husbands eyes I am someone special, I have to be, he married me! So here are my reminders of the wonder of being a wife:

He looked at you and saw Forever.

It is you he goes Home to every night and wakes up to every morning.

You are The Woman who bore him sons.

More than a girlfriend, you are an Eternal Companion.

You witness the highs and lows of his life, the tears he supposedly doesn’t cry, and you show him Love each time.

He’s the silliest around you and you may even Laugh at that joke he’s said a hundred times!

There’s no one else you’d rather argue with because with him you Know how to win ๐Ÿ™‚

When you’re sick in bed, he’s the one who brings home Flowers and sets it in your room.

You’re the First One he calls when something has happened.

Growing Old is a wonderful thing because as his wife you will still be by his side.

When he’s Thinking of love, you know he’s thinking about you, his Wife.

 

Here’s a lovely video about love and being a married a long time xx