I once heard a saying that went something like this: “words reveal what is inside of you.”
How true that statement can be! A person who is always gossiping and criticising must carry some sort of low self image and inner misery. Creating an endless circle of sadness to those they talk to and about. There is nothing uplifting about negativity!
A person who is always saying good things with an optimistic and hopeful point of view creates the very opposite of feelings. They inspire, uplift and possibly annoy those who are very miserable! Haha
This is not to suppose that the optimistic never experience unhappiness or sorrow, but they’ve somehow figured out how to battle it and chase the rain cloud of overbearing sadness away allowing those rays of light back into their life.
I have been reading and experiencing lately how important words are and especially in my daily life of being a stay at home mom.
My son is three and is imitating everything! Sometimes this is good and sometimes not so good! Things I have found perfectly okay to say, somehow sounds awful from the mouth of an innocent child, my son. This little human being I am to mould and shape into a decent man, a good citizen of society, a gentleman who respects women and continues to have faith in God. I surely must choose my words wisely!
Bad words that I hope to shun from my home (along with the obvious swear and vulgar words that exist):
Kill’em (yes I know that’s slang!)
And perhaps a few more I haven’t realised yet.
I understand there are other influences my children will pick up on, like music, movies, friends, hearing strangers passing conversation, etc.
But this is part of learning too, out there the world says this n that, in here at home with mommy and daddy, we don’t.
Habits are hard to break and especially habitual language. When I get annoyed I say, “you/they drive me nuts!” Which my toddler now loves to say to everyone about everything! I have been contemplating that there must be an easier way to battle negative language habits.
I have devised a plan for myself. It is more than likely I will fail a hundred times before getting it right but this is my new goal: no matter what happens, my verbal reply will be one of these options:
“It’s okay.” OR
“There has to be a better way!” OR
“We need to make a better choice next time.”
“Maybe in hindsight we will see this was a blessing.”
I find all these responses reassuring and hopeful and that is good.
If a household bill was bigger than expected, I won’t call the company stupid and the world unfair, I will calmly say, there has to be a better way.
If the car doesn’t start and we’re already late for something, I will not call the car stupid and that my life is cursed with bad luck, I will calmly say, “it’s okay.” If we’re late, it’s okay. If we have to take a bus, it’s okay. If we end up staying home, it’s okay.
Of course it’s okay! It’s all okay! And there is always a better way- even if the only better thing is our attitude.
What is really difficult is when the kids play up. Sometimes I think they’re crying IS stupid because there is no reason for it, drama queens! But I can’t say that because that would be degrading, belittling, and negative. I can’t build their spirits up if I am putting them down. Seriously, my kids are crazy with their screaming and endless crying so my patience is often tried. It is hard to bite my tongue when I feel fed up. But I want to be a good mom and so my efforts right now will be these words. First I will say, it’s okay. Then I will say, there has to be a better way! I need to also accept my mistakes and allow myself to make a better choice next time!
I want my kids to grow up with a positive attitude in life and clearly the only way for them to have that is for me to show them HOW. Attitude is a learned trait. This is my goal and my challenge for I am only human with weaknesses of my own. But if I truly love my children, I will make these efforts because my life now revolves around them. I also hope that arming myself with shields of optimism and swords of positive words, I can be happier from within too. All the good will heal the bad. Because in the end good will always conquer over bad. I hope.
I hope my kids will have a positive attitude about life. I hope they will speak kind words to each other. I hope they will speak kindly of others and look for the good in all things. I hope they will believe that all things happen for a reason and even when bad things happen, there may be a blessing in disguise, so no need to be overly negative! I hope they will learn the lessons life will throw at them and become good men. I hope they will understand the importance of the words they choose. I hope.