Over the past year there have been a handful of friends and family who have gotten married. I am often reminded of the excitement of our own wedding. Last night I thought about the whole process. The excitement of each stage. Realising you found someone special. Finding out he loves you back. The engagement. The wedding. The first positive pregnancy test. Experiencing the first baby.
Now that we have been married four and a half years, and we have two kids, I asked my husband last night, “What’s the next exciting thing for us?” I was not asking because I am unhappy in our marriage, I was just curious in my thought process and who better to ask than my spouse? His response was brilliant.
He spoke happily and excitedly that everyday as parents we should feel excited because our children are constantly growing, learning and doing new things. The exciting thing is knowing we are witnessing their life unravel before our very eyes. I thought about that for a moment and replied that it is most important then that we spend time together as a family so that we, together as husband and wife, are witnessing and watching our children together. I often feel like since I have the kids all day and I see a lot of what they do, so when Shaun has them, I do find myself ‘running away’ for some quiet “me time” but this is where I need to improve. I should stay and have us all be together more. Balancing life was never easy. He is right, and now I need to snap out of it and enjoy motherhood more fully.
Even after the kids are grown, we have grand kids to look forward to. The rest of our lives is the next exciting thing.
My husband went on to speak about how as a couple we are learning new things about each other as well. In the beginning of the dating phase, didn’t we all spend hours talking to our significant other? Hopefully it doesn’t stop. The other night my husband and I were up late into the night talking and laughing. It was wonderful. I love nights like that.
Back to my original question: After marriage and kids, what’s the next big thing for us? My husband returned it to me. My answer was simple. Spending time ALONE with my husband since it is so rare! When we are alone, we can hold hands. We can talk without interruption. Most importantly, it reminds me of the beginning and I fall in love all over again. Which, for me, makes date night the next big thing.
Friday night is set aside as our date night. Most of the time we stay home and have an extra yummy dinner and choose a film but once in a while we get to go out and it is so exciting! Sometimes we both spend hours looking at potential restaurants or entertainment ideas online, we talk about it all week, weigh out pros and cons of different options and then make a decision just before we head out the door. Tonight I am in charge of planning. I’m not telling him where we are going until we are in the car. 🙂
After marriage and a kid or two, Shaun is right, the next exciting thing is looking forward to every new day. And if, like me, one feels things have gotten monotonous, it is time to break the routine, get creative and allow some fun together as a couple.
When I am out with the husband tonight I will wonder if there is anyone else in the world doing that very thing at that very same moment? I hope so. Otherwise, what are we trying to save?
PS Guess that film. 🙂