It is good to be back home- here in our Essex flat. And it was good to be home in Ohio for Christmas.
What actually happened was far from what I had imagined would happen. I thought I would kiss the ground. Thank the pilot. Cry with joy. Instead of all that jazz, I was kind of too busy being stressed over my kids crying, nappies needing changed, the baby needing nursed, my own needs of having to use the loo and feeling hungry. The husband was so happy to be back home! He was smiling from ear to ear! Then he asks me- “How does it feel to be back home?” “I don’t know yet but can you give me the backpack, I need Ethan’s bottle, thanks.”
Soon the excitement grew for me too.I sat on the wrong side of the car. And we drove on the wrong side of the road. Stoplights hung on wires over the road. The roads were really wide! And there was so much space everywhere! All the houses had front and backyards! And a garage! I loved the names of the roads. And peoples accents were so heavy yet friendly.
All these things that had been normal for me, were now something more. Almost like having amnesia and only now starting to remember again who I am, or who I was.
As we drove through Hartville, Uniontown, Canton, Akron, I noticed a lot of changes. But the most that has changed is ME.
One night, I sat at a table in a restaurant with two friends. We drank fruity lemonades and spoke as old friends do. At one point the conversation went kind of like this:
“It’s been a decade but I still feel like me, just fatter.”
“Sometimes I think I haven’t changed either, until I find myself around a bunch of twenty year olds and I realise, nope I’ve changed!”
“Have I changed? You’ve definitely changed, you’re more serious.”
I miss those friends of mine so much!
As I was enjoying my Christmas holiday with old friends and new family, there were things I missed about my home here in England too. Call me crazy but I missed hanging my laundry outside while Ethan played close-by. My love for pegs (clothespins) is absurd. I missed Tesco. And Primark. Or maybe it was more like I missed going into a store and knowing exactly where to find everything. I missed going on walks in our neighbourhood. Now that I’m back, I am not missing any of it, but rather missing everything on the other side. Like watching Ethan run after Smoky. And watching Ethan scold the dogs. And just missing being home. I’m torn.
The best part about any holiday, coming or going, is family. I am so blessed to have married into such a wonderful family. And blessed to have mine too. xx