Rambling on a Rainy Afternoon

I want to say something but when the words don’t come and outside the rain hits my windows and pictures on my camera roll leave me coveting and I want to be alone but can’t because I’m a mom, not even to use to the restroom can I be alone, and I look at the grey clouds but I really don’t see clouds, just a grey thing hovering over the world and I am reminded when I was a kid looking at a similar sky feeling like I was trapped just wanting to see some blue so I can be free again and because I was in a moving car when I saw that sky and felt that feeling, I start wanting to travel again and silently wish in my heart for a phonecall that I know won’t happen but still hoping for a familiar voice to say, pack your bag we are going away a few days, your mom is babysitting, and suddenly I will look in the mirror and think about how I look and if I should change my outfit, like getting ready for a date and my thoughts run making a list of everything I might possibly need for this last minute trip and as I pack I will daydream of a sunny day and we are driving down a romantic road lined with trees and the husband holds my hand and I’m smiling so happy like that one time we really did go for a drive in the country because we just wanted to be lost together and then the toddler interrupts my imaginary escape and tears well up with disappointment that it was just a daydream and not true at all and the phonecall never happened and my wish disappears as reality sinks in and I am still here and not anywhere and the afternoon is turning into evening and dinner needs getting started and the toddler is whining for attention but I just feel like doing nothing.

 

(photo credit)

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2 thoughts on “Rambling on a Rainy Afternoon

  1. We all have days like this, sometimes – weeks or months of them. That’s life for you – you wish for it to be exciting; but then when it is, you just want stability.

    xxx

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