I remember in my high school English class, our teacher made us write an essay every week. I loved it. We paired up and chose a topic she had on the board. We learned the skeleton of a properly written essay. The attention grabber first sentence, the thesis sentence that explains what is going to be said, the transitional sentences from one paragraph to the next, the summary and closing. The transitional sentences were the highlight because it was a challenge to make one subject smoothly flow into the next. It made me think of how my mom is a pro at changing subjects during conversations when something comes up that she doesn’t want to talk about. Just as there are transitions in essays, this morning I was reflecting on transitions in life that are also a challenge.
I separate huge events in my life not into chapters, but rather into lifetimes because that is how it feels like to me. So far, I have lived four and am in my fifth. This lifetime is the beginning of my motherhood and housewife years. I do not know how long this lifetime will last, I never do.
The transition of being someone ambitious with a degree, ready to start a career, a plan of how to acheive goals, suddenly changed to someone who was deathly sick for months on end, growing a baby, and then the baby comes and dealing with all the highs and lows of experiencing motherhood for the first time.
This has been my biggest transition and challenge. Everything changes. In a big way. He is now almost 6 months old, and I thought it would get easier, but it doesn’t. This transition is permanent, and probably should not be dubbed a transition any longer. When is the point where I am used to being a mom? And why is it that being a mom is supposed to be the most important job in the world but I have moments where I feel like the most insignificant person on the planet?
I am living a transition, a big challenging change, entering a new lifetime and as always, trying to make the best of it.